“The past is already gone and can’t be changed. The future is yet to arrive and is completely unknown. The present moment, this very moment now, is ultimately the only moment you have.” ~Shamash Alidina
Many with chronic pain or mental health issues remain silent because if you tell someone, they hear your words but do not understand what you are going through. Trying to tell a loved one that doesn’t understand not only hurts, it is very painful causing us to recluse even more.
For me, I continue to seek help from my psychiatrist and therapist. I have also gone to a few support groups but one I was interested in was too hard for me to get to the conference area. They were very helpful and I could call when I got there and they would get a wheel chair for me but I do not like to make a scene or be a problem. I would like to go to another location to see if I can get in easier than the other one.
I value the friendship of a few people I know that are going through some of the same issues. It is so hard to find someone just to talk to vent out your problem of the moment and have them understand the pain and frustration. For anyone having issues that do not have support, I greatly encourage you to find a therapist and ask if they can suggest any support groups that they know of that are good in your area. I know I am better off by doing this myself. I was scared to open up at first about my problems because I was so used to no one understanding. I was very surprised how much I opened up after listening to others in the group. We are all going through hell but battling different devils.
A little over two weeks ago I mentioned in a post that I fell and needed stitches in my right foot. I had the stitches removed on Thursday and was surprised it didn’t hurt. They told me since it was such a deep gash, it didn’t heal in the middle and will have to heal from the inside out. I wish they would of told me that at the ER that this was a possibility.
I felt like a failure for it not healing better than it did. I know I shouldn’t but it just feels like everything is so damn hard for me. This has been just another problem added on to my already enormous list of items I have to cope with. I need to clean but my back hurts, I would like to read but can’t concentrate, I would like to write more but my hands hurts, I would like to do so many things that I keep putting off that eventually I lose interest.
I know I have to accept some of my issues and know that better days are ahead. I need to keep my head up, know my limitations, have more awareness of my surroundings, and eventually I’ll have a better day. How do I know? I have gone through this so many times and know I will bounce back. It may be painful today but we learn from it and it does get better. I just wish I had a fast-forward button though for times like this.
“It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get” ~ Confucius