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Pain Changes People

It’s been over a year since my last writing. I always think about writing when I’m miserable and need to rant. I’m pissed off how you practically have to beg for pain medicine now from your doctor while the abusers can get theirs no problem. Yes, something needs to be done against the abusers and doctors shouldn’t have to punish those that actually need them by limiting or cutting the prescriptions off.

I’ve been on pain meds for maybe 15 years and a few months ago my doctor cut me off. Finally I was able to get a new prescription today. It is for a different, less powerful pain medication but better than nothing. Hopefully, I won’t have an issue getting it renewed every month until my next visit in 3 months. I have too many health issues to list but probably named some in older posts. It’s like doctors are stupid that maybe my depression partially comes from being in miserable pain every day. I really don’t know what I may have done if I didn’t get some help today. I haven’t been suicidal since 2007 but thoughts were returning.

I have to stay in the moment and not stay stuck in the past or worrying about tomorrow. Yes, my DBT therapy helped a few years back and need to get refocused on that training. Pain does change you in many ways. Pain can make you depressed, irritable, feel hopeless, and just be afraid of life altogether because you don’t know if things will ever improve. God willing I’ll try to write again soon and not wait another year! Rant over…