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I really need to get back to writing on here. It’s been almost a year. I got thinking about love lately and wanted to express some of my views towards it to my wonderful woman in my life.

You can like a face or a body, but you don’t fall in love with it. You fall in love with the mind. The way a person thinks, the way a person talks. Beauty can attract people, but your thoughts are what’s going to make them stay.

I imagine God’s love is like an ocean or the sky. You can see the beginning but not the end. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I do you. I was never that religious of a person but always wanted to believe in God. My faith has really grown in the 2 plus years I’ve known you, not in any specific kind of religion but I truly believe now.

There is no other explanation how we could have met each other and how our love has blossomed more and more every day. We were both hurting, having no one that truly cared and loved us. We found each other right at the time we were in the most need for help. As for a specific religion I don’t think God minds as long as you love everyone equally and not do anything in hate in their name. I feel like I need to do something more in my life that refects God and the love that was brought to us. I don’t want to sound like a religious fanatic because man has changed religious texts for their own benefits and I don’t fully believe any.

The basic moral principles of Zoroastrianism is a good place to start with good thoughts, good words, and good deeds. I believe that God loves all and in turn wants everyone to show that love towards others. People have to start believing that material things do not matter. All that matters is the well being of people in our lives. I need to keep focusing on all the good that there still is and not on the past or current pains. I need to stay positive because if what I believe is true, that God did bring us together, that there’s no way our story is going to finish in a sad way.

So let’s both always stay positive because we will have a wonderful future together as we will continue to grow every day. I love you unconditionally with all my heart and will always be a good man in every way possible because that’s what you deserve. Thank you again for accepting me because I know I have many flaws. One thing I can promise is I’ll continue to love you everyday, support you, and care for you, never breaking your heart.

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This July 4th there is a lot to celebrate being the 245th birthday of our nation. There is so much to be thankful for in America and I will not go into that in this post. I want to remember all my loved ones that are gone like I do on every holiday. I’ve been through a lot of loss and the only member of my immediate family left. I used to be sad and depressed on holidays and never looked forward to them. That has changed this year for me.

I am thankful for my new family and future I’ll be starting soon with the person I love. What better way to move forward is by remembering all the good things I loved most about the people who are gone. I’ll try to be happy carrying on all their good that I remember.

My closest brother Paul was my best friend and was the most kind and caring man I ever knew. I think I already have that characteristic and will continue. My brother Mark was a go getter and did whatever he had to do to live a life on his own and support his family. I know what I want in life now and will do my best to make it happen to start my new family. My parents did what they needed to do to support their children and stayed together through good and bad. Being disabled, I am limited to what I can do but I will fight and promise to love my wife and be faithful through any issues that may arise and support her any way I can. My grandparents were very loving and I definitely have that trait. I will definitely honor them by showing love and kindness.

“The Remembrance of the good done those we have loved is the only consolation when we have lost them.” (Demoustier). Of course they will remain in my heart forever and it’s easy to remember the happy times instead of the sad. When I’m gone, I hope I’ll be remembered for everything I have and will show to my family.

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I felt like I didn’t have hope for a long time. Every day I was just existing and not really living. I hated my life and every morning I would wake up thinking what’s going to go wrong today. I don’t even remember the last time I was really happy, if at all.

That changed 54 weeks ago when I met a special person. To me, she is the most special, beautiful, smart, woman I ever met. I now know for the first time how it feels to be loved and cared about with it being unconditional both ways. My days are happy and look forward to a future together. I am inspired to be an better man and feel like I really have a purpose for the first time in my life.

Maybe I survived to this point in my life because God had a purpose for me. I know I have turned her life around as well and we both feel blessed. I didn’t have hope and was miserable. Maybe if I believed tomorrow would have been better, I would have enjoyed a better life.

Never, ever give up because then you’ll never have a chance for life to improve. If you are having a rough time right now please have faith that your life will improve. It may not be tomorrow, next week, or in a month but it will happen. Fifty five weeks ago I would have thought this advice is full of shit but I kept pushing forward. I now have hope and know tomorrow will be better. H.O.P.E. (hold on pain ends).

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At Last

*Update* couldn’t afford to keep up the .com domain so I’ll currently stay on the free WordPress plus I’m @colorlessnoise on Instagram.

Well, I finally got around to publishing my Colorlessnoise domain using WordPress. During the time I had this domain since 2010 I probably started a handful of blogs but was only able to import a few posts I had from my old Accepting Reality site. I’m not sure about the theme yet but I’ll worry about that another day. I’m just happy to be back and hopefully post more than I did before.

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Music and Writing

I’ve loved music my entire life as well as writing.  I haven’t wrote in my blog for quite awhile now and miss it.  Most of the time I just forget but it really brings me enjoyment.  I’ve been playing a music trivia game for the past few weeks and ran across Diamond, who is a real gem!  Many good memories flooded back when I used to write just by her enthusiasm of music and writing.  I am excited to start again.  It’s nothing that will bring me fame or fortune but it will bring me happiness.  I’m positive her singing/writing will bring fame and fortune one day, if not, a career in helping others will be in the cards.
So it’s like I’m making a full circle return to my youth in my return to writing.  Now I just picked a bad week being a holiday one.  God knows I need a little more happiness in my life so I’m sure glad I got inspired again.